Jessi Marquez

I don't want to date a Christian guy...

I know that may seem confusing, but I’m really just not interested. My friends and I have dated Christians and non-Christians before and in many cases there wasn't much of a difference.Being a twenty something and single in NYC, dating is a topic that comes up quite a bit. I've heard all points of views and to be frank...I think we often limit ourselves.

The end of February I was in California visiting my best friend Jessica. We had a long discussion about life and other random topics. One thing she said to me was “Don’t waste your time with Christian guys, if you are going to date someone…be sure that he is a Man of God.” Confused? Let me clear this up...yes, a Man of God is Christian. However, I believe that there are a lot of Christian guys that are not Men of God. Still confused? Well, let me clarify...

About a month ago is when I started writing this blog. It was prompted by my conversation with Jessica alongside one of the messages that Paul gave at Liberty Church. Paul Andrew of Liberty Church spoke about "The Family Man". My mind instantly reverted to the Nicholas Cage movie and I thought this was going to be a sermon about choosing family over money and success.

I was wrong.

Paul openly and honestly explained what a Man of God looks like. In humble conviction he shared his short comings as a husband to his wife Andi and as a father to his three kids. He expressed the identity crisis men face today: humble servant vs wild at heart. You can listen to the podcast on the Liberty Church website to hear the full thing.

I left the service and met up with some of the most amazing ladies that grace the streets of NYC. We discussed dating and the many challenges that face single women in the city. All the different viewpoints on purity, pursuit, and pure intentions. We thought about what it means to be a proverbs 31 woman in a modern day society, as well as what a proverbs 31 man looks like. This conversation peaked so much interest that I decided to ask the opinion of women I know around the world. I simply stated “In your opinion, what is a man of God?”

This was the response:

 (these responses don’t all represent my viewpoints but the thoughts of 20+ women)

-He is passionately pursuing God and his life displays an overflow of that relationship.

-He is a leader in his community- meaning he isn't afraid to speak truth with boldness and at the same time serve those around him with compassion.

-He sees you not for your past or present, but for who you are becoming.

-He practices self control.

-He lives undignified- not concerned with fitting in but giving others freedom to be themselves.

-He fights for justice.

-He challenges you to be the person you are called to be without being controlling or manipulative.

-A man that puts God first in his life above all things.

-A man that uses the Bible to answer his questions.

-A man that would never lead you into temptation.

-One that WALKS with wisdom and understanding

- has pure intentions and his actions SHOW that

-One that pursues righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness (1 Tim 6:11-16)

-You may be able to look at a quite a few guys in the city and just write the exact opposite of how they act?! Just a thought...

-A man who values what God says about him, higher than he values what you say about him.

-A man who is bold enough to follow the voice of the Lord even if that means temporarily upsetting you in the process. ( This is a difficult one to actually want because sometimes it sucks but it is always ultimately better!)

-A man who is slow to anger and quick to forgive.

-A man who does not allow his pride to dictate his actions.

- A man who is desperately running towards christ and fixated on that and not everything else the world tries to influence him with

-A man who you trust because you know that he is on constant communication with the Lord

- A man who is patient

-A man that is ambitious and passionate about the calling for his life, no matter what God wants it to be.

-A man that seeks God's guidance in relationships, as there are three parties that makes up the ultimate relationships... Person1, Person2 and God!

-A man that wants to and does pray with/for his girlfriend/wife/friends/family/people that he feels prompted to pray for.

-A man not distracted by the materialistic things in life.

-A BOLD man.

- a man that understands people. And has a heart for those people...the good and bad.

-A man who pursues you purely and with constant focus on god

-A man who doesn't even know what playing games is

-A man who effortlessly speaks Jesus to those around him without having to be reminded.

-A man who is understanding, forgiving, and wise.

-A man who has been refined by the fire and molded by god

- A man who leads you to spiritual growth and leads you into God's calling and purpose for your life.

-A man who never lets the sun go down on his anger or bitterness

-A man who always puts others before himself ... even if they arent his girlfriend.

-Humble.

-Seeks wisdom.

-Protects.

-Someone who doesn't go down in silence but will SPEAK.

-Someone not controlled by their needs. So they are free and don't use manipulation as a weapon.

-Willing and ready.

-Dances undignified

-Takes his inheritance.

-Loves with all he has got

- A man that knows he will never fulfill ALL your needs-and he is secure and okay with that.

-He is confident & led by the Spirit of God and will take bold steps of obedience when God asks of him, even if it comes at the cost of self embarrassment or risk.

-A man that knows you will both fall short but will STAY AT THE TABLE when times get tough.

-He protects with boldness, flees from temptation, and doesn't settle....

- man who understands the importance of priorities i.e. God, family, work/ministry and not allowing work or family to come before God and not allowing work/ministry to come before his family (basically remembering that family IS his first ministry/responsibility).

- I think there are days when His reckless pursuit of the Lord will be breathtaking and heroic. But there will other times when God's grace will carry Him through the fire and the waters and His power will be made perfect in his weakness. A David, a man whose heart is after God's, and yet, who falls short, sometimes in profound ways...

-a man who loves God and knows His love - who relies upon His love and grace, rather than his own ability.

The last thing to think about is…are you the woman that this man would date? One thing one of the girls said was this “I guess it just got me thinking... would I make the cut for a godly woman? I hope there will be times when I do, but there will also be times when I fall short of the glory of God (rom3:23)...”

Here is a great blog that my friend sent me as well…just in case that wasn’t enough!